The Label Maker

Ahhh, Sunday afternoons.............. A time when I can just relax and do nothing. I don't have to think or plan or be coherent. A time when I can read, play on the computer, have a nap if I so desire (although naps generally have dire consequences in my world, I will not go to sleep that night and I will lay awake with my eyes wide open thinking of all sorts of random things, making random plans, by morning we could be on our way to Timbuktu). Sunday is a time when I can watch TV, bug Ian, bug Erica & Mark. bug the dog whose identity I am protecting, go to Walmart. Are pastors allowed to go to Walmart on Sundays?

My dog is the only one whose identity I will not expose because yesterday Erica did indeed tick me off. Twice in fact. First, she hijacked my facebook and called me odd. Second, she dared ask me "Why?" to one of my directives. I will admit I was a tad grumpy due to a headache and hanging up on her scared the beejeebies out of her. Sorry my dear. I did say I would pay for your therapy.

Erica was asking me over the phone "Why?" when I was in the middle of brushing my teeth. Since the answer to her why question was "because I said so ..." and I thought it sounded lame I decided it would be fun just to hang up. Actually as I write this, I am beginning to realize it is all Mark's fault since he was the dimwit who brought the phone to me when I was brushing my teeth. Mark should now have to pay for Erica's therapy.

Anyway, I am really excited. I bought myself a label maker. This isn't just any old label maker. It is an electronic label maker. Since we decided to put hardwood on our main floor while we are in Europe we have to clear everything (I mean EVERYTHING) off the floor so that means a complete overhaul of years and years and years worth of important junk and less important junk. So I went to Walmart and bought cardboard boxes, file boxes, tupperware containers and a label maker. I now have to organize all my important junk and label it with my new label maker. Its gonna be fun.

I am thinking maybe I should label everything in the house then maybe it will all end up in its correct spot. I could leave messages around the house that I could write with my label maker. I forsee a labelling maniac in the works.

My less important junk is going to go into my big garage sale I am having in the Spring where I am going to make enough money to finance a summer holiday. I realize now that my children have left their childhood behind and are fully embracing their teens. So I have to fugure out what toys and books I am going to keep for my grandchildren & what I will sell to make my big bucks. I shall sell everything that is not useful. I shall sell old things that could be collector items like ghettoblasters, tape decks, old VHS tapes. I shall sell all Ian's old Sports Illustrated magazines. I shall sell my children if they bug me. Hawaii here I come!!!

I am now going to Walmart to buy an iron so I can do the ironing because Mark broke my iron by knocking it over with his skis. Another reason why skiing is not such a good idea. Those big monstrous blades cause damage to the innerds of my house. Erica is glad I am going to Walmart because she needs a calendar to keep herself organized. Perhaps she would like to borrow my label maker.

Over and out. 7th post complete.

Exercise - To Do or Not To Do?

Since I am a forty something and have given birth to children I no longer possess the long, lean look of my youth. There are flabby bits attached to my once slick figure. At my last physical, they weighed me and I was a tad dismayed at the number. Must have been those 20lb jeans I was wearing. Anyway, I don't have a scale so I was a wee bit surprised to find that my weight is creeping slowly upwards to a number that I would mumble if anyone asked me the "How much do you weigh?"question. Thankfully, good manners prevent people from asking that question ........ otherwise I may be forced to lie. And that is not good because pastors are not supposed to lie.

So I ask my doctor, "What is the best way to lose those few extra pounds?" I am expecting her to give me some profound answer when she looked me straight in the eye and said "Quit eating so much." It went something like this , "....now that you are in you forties your metabolsim and change of hormones means you don't need to eat quite so much, yaadddaa yaada .......". Oh really now - not quite I wanted to hear. "Oh and a regular exercise routine would be helpful." I was kinda hoping for a magic pill. Take 1 in the morning for a month and poof you are a babe! Oh my, it means a lifestyle change for me.

Unfortunately, I like food and I am not prepared to eat just rabbit food (cheetos rule!!!) so I have reasoned that indeed I am going to have to put into play a very rigorous exercise program. I have gone to the gym many times before but I always lose interest or get too busy and I once almost became a tennis pro a few years ago until one of those nasty green balls hit me in the jaw and put me off tennis. Hey, I wonder if Ian paid that lady to hit me on purpose so I would quit yapping at him.

Anyway, my daughter (who quite amazingly still has not ticked me off so I am still protecting her identity) and I have been talking. We have decided to join the local Y and workout together. We will invent up some sort of competition because both of will be extremely motivated to beat the other person. Lise rocks!!! Daughter doesn't!!! The winner has to take the loser out for dinner. I realize that age is on her side. But my legs are longer so I should be able to clock the miles quicker. I do have a back up plan though - I'll plant ourselves near some cute young men who will distract her. When she is distracted, I'll be able to adjust her machine back to zero (hehehe). I'm not sure pastors are allowed to cheat either. Perhaps my career will be shortlived at the rate I am going. Too many sins and your outta there ......

First though, we both discussed this and agree, we need to go shopping so we can buy ourself some cool workout duds. I guess my 1980's shorts would be a little embarassing and far be it for me to embarass my offspring ....... maybe I'll just wear the headband and hum Olivia Newton Johns "Physical ...... " So tomorrow is the big day. Look out Y, the Mitchell ladies are about to become fit machines of muscly legs and flat abs.

Over and out. 6th post complete.