I feel like I am twenty five inside so the fact that I have a daughter getting married is disconcerting for such a young person like myself to fathom. How can it be that I am that old? Upon further examination in the mirror I discovered that I am a wee bit wrinkly and my hair is indeed greyish in parts and I can no longer rock those jeans. Okay, the fact that I said rock those jeans betrays the fact that I am indeed approaching those middle aged years. Since when did I become the grown up who pays for things?
I am thankful for my friend whose daughter is getting married the week before Erica and for Joel's (that is Erica's hubby to be) Mom because after chatting with them both I discovered there were alot of things that needed to be added to the "to do list" that I was totally oblivious to. I was calm on the outside but inside I was screaming with fright. I know it is Erica & Joel's wedding and they make all the decisions but she has recruited me to work alongside her. I figured because the wedding was 10 months away that I had tons of time to figure things out. That is not the case ....... you have to book stuff EARLY!
What do you mean you have to rent linens, plates, stemware (I had to look up what stemware was because I had no idea what that word meant, is it some new fangled name for silverware?? I discovered it means glasses, Ian said it is not just glasses but it is glasses with stems)? What do you mean I have to wear a fancy dress? A fancy dress means heels and I hate heels! So much to learn as we enter this new world of wedding planning. I think I am going to have fun though. I am so glad Erica is so chill about things so she can calm me down when I am freaking out.
Tomorrow I am spending the day with the men in my life. I made my son take a day off work so we could go back to school shopping. Ian has decided to join us. I am a little skeptical that me and the boys are on the same page for our day "to the city" for shopping. I have a plan and they better not grumble and deter me from my goal of getting Mark clothed for the Fall. I shall report on said shopping trip .........
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Procrastination Is My Middle Name!
Well, It has been over 2 years since I last blogged. Many blog posts have gone through my head. They were good posts I tell you, but you will never know what you missed because well I have forgotten them because remember I am forty something. Unfortunately, I am the "Queen of Procrastination". I think my best work happens when I procrastinate though. But when I procrastinate I am also a bear to live with, all grumpy like and irritable. I maybe almost forgot I had a blog. That happens when you are forty something, you have to write things on lists so you don't forget to do them. Then I remembered about my blog cause I was reading someones very eloquent blog and felt immediately distressed that I may have to soon rename my blog The Diary Of A Fifty Something so maybe I should write more posts while I am still in my forties. I am a wee put out that none of my 8 followers have inquired about my well being. Oh right, half of them live in my house.
Lots and lots has happened in the last 2 years - both Ian and I lost our Dad's to ALS, my Mom's husband Hank passed away this year leaving my Mom really sad & lonely as she tries to adjust to a new life without him. My daughter Erica got engaged to her sweetheart Joel and she is getting married May 24, 2014, my son Mark got taller than me and lost his frontal lobe somehow (if you see it let me know, he needs it back) and I am afraid he may starve to death or die of scurvy if I am not around to feed him. My hair is almost completely grey because teaching Mark to drive has been just that stressful (okay I'm slightly exaggerating on the grey hair but lets just say that I yell things at him, he gets annoyed at me, I yell louder). Ian sometimes says in his very rude all knowing voice "You know dear, Mark is the male version of you....." I can't deny this fact because so many times the thought has gone through my head, so that is what I would have been like if I was a boy!
I am still a Children & Family Pastor at the Owen Sound Alliance Church. I have been there 7 years this month! Wow.
Erica and Mark no longer have the time to holiday with us so we have been going away by ourselves this year and getting a taste of what that empty nest might look like. Erica and Mark are both Lifeguards & Swim Instructors at our local YMCA this summer. I'm happy they could save my life should I get a cramp while swimming.
I should blog about these life transitions so others (my 8 followers) can learn from my wisdom. I should blog about our travels cause Ian always generates good stories when we travel. I should muse about spirituality and politics and relationships and talk about the hard questions of life, the painful things. I should blog about my new hobbies, I want to learn to quilt and can pickles.
Oh I better go..... need to be seeing who got voted out of the Big Brother house. Now don't be hating on me because I watch that stupid show. They really need better summer TV programming for those times when you just want to veg (which is often for this forty something). I know, I know ...... I know exactly what you are all thinking and I am going to choose to ignore all your silent voices.
Lots and lots has happened in the last 2 years - both Ian and I lost our Dad's to ALS, my Mom's husband Hank passed away this year leaving my Mom really sad & lonely as she tries to adjust to a new life without him. My daughter Erica got engaged to her sweetheart Joel and she is getting married May 24, 2014, my son Mark got taller than me and lost his frontal lobe somehow (if you see it let me know, he needs it back) and I am afraid he may starve to death or die of scurvy if I am not around to feed him. My hair is almost completely grey because teaching Mark to drive has been just that stressful (okay I'm slightly exaggerating on the grey hair but lets just say that I yell things at him, he gets annoyed at me, I yell louder). Ian sometimes says in his very rude all knowing voice "You know dear, Mark is the male version of you....." I can't deny this fact because so many times the thought has gone through my head, so that is what I would have been like if I was a boy!
I am still a Children & Family Pastor at the Owen Sound Alliance Church. I have been there 7 years this month! Wow.
Erica and Mark no longer have the time to holiday with us so we have been going away by ourselves this year and getting a taste of what that empty nest might look like. Erica and Mark are both Lifeguards & Swim Instructors at our local YMCA this summer. I'm happy they could save my life should I get a cramp while swimming.
I should blog about these life transitions so others (my 8 followers) can learn from my wisdom. I should blog about our travels cause Ian always generates good stories when we travel. I should muse about spirituality and politics and relationships and talk about the hard questions of life, the painful things. I should blog about my new hobbies, I want to learn to quilt and can pickles.
Oh I better go..... need to be seeing who got voted out of the Big Brother house. Now don't be hating on me because I watch that stupid show. They really need better summer TV programming for those times when you just want to veg (which is often for this forty something). I know, I know ...... I know exactly what you are all thinking and I am going to choose to ignore all your silent voices.
Monday, May 23, 2011
My Say On May 21
Ian, Mark and I just got back from Pirates 4. It took a little convincing to get Ian to go as he has a theory that subsequent films rarely are better than the 1st. On the whole, I tend to agree with him. But I like going to the movies. My movie partner is in New York City on a school trip. I miss Erica. I like having her around. Anyway, the movie wasn’t bad nor super good – it was just an average movie. But it had the one of the best lines ever ......... get ready, drum roll folks .......”We have been decepted!!” I just thought it was so funny and you’ll have to see the movie or else this will be one of those you had to be there moments.
Anyway, the idea of being deceived led me to thinking about the fact that the world indeed did not end yesterday and how deceived that Camping guy and his faithful followers were. Apparently over 3 million dollars was spent advertising on billboards, radio etc....... what a blooming waste of money!! That money could have helped those in poverty, we could have saved lives by giving a cup of cold water to those in need. What chaffs my butt is that it is men and women like this that give Christians goof like status. And while I am venting I also get annoyed at the dough heads on TV who bilk little old ladies out of their money.
The problem lies here – if you don’t go to Church then you think that all Churchgoers must be like what you see on TV and that is just not so. And that is what makes me mad. I know I am generalizing so don’t go sending me any nasty comments, I do realize they are many who see Christians not in that light; but on the whole we Christians are seen as unwaveringly judgmental at times. Just as I wrote this a huge bolt of lightning and thunder just about took us out. Now I could interpret that to mean that God agrees with me but someone else may say no that means God disagrees with you. You see how dangerous it is? You see how easily we can put words in God’s mouth? We need to be wise.
The radicals out there give us normal Christians a bad rap. Remember, normal is relative – hee hee. I do not believe any of that crazy gobbledly gook yet I most likely could be lumped in with those “people”. I was embarrassed and sad for the peeps that believed that the world was going to end on May 21 because deep down I believe that they really believed that this would happen. They are Christians, they are good people who have slightly lost their way because they made up some of their own rules or misinterpreted the Bible or they feel guilty or whatever......... they are forgetting to let God be God. He doesn’t need us to announce the date of His return.
Which leads me to my next point: I often wonder how seemingly rational people will believe the stupidest things. They go off on a tangent and twist things to suit whatever they want to hear to justify their actions. It is a shame really. I remember when Ian and I went to this little Baptist Church in Portland, Oregon; I don’t recall what the sermon was about but I remember the Pastor saying “Don’t check your brain at the door!” If something sounds most odd it probably is. If it quacks like a duck it probably is a duck. If you say you know the exact date the world is going to end or how the world is going to end then you are probably a dumb ass. Just saying.......... I also want to make a point that dumb ass is not a swear word even if Ian thinks it is and don’t be sending me any nasty comments as I shall ignore them.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
The Perils Of Travelling Lise Style
So last Tuesday I pile into my co-workers car to drive to Hamilton for Church business meetings and yes it as boring as it sounds. The meetings, not the drive. Since none of my 8 blog followers were at the meeting I figure I am safe. I see I got 1 more follower and at this rate I should be famous in about 100 years. Okay, maybe I’ll never be famous. Anyway, I digress. It is like a big giant 3 day Church elders meeting where you get to eat lots and listen to people jabber on about inconsequential details. Whenever I drive anywhere the occupants of the car and I try to solve the world’s problems. I am really quite sure if I was given the chance to rule the world things would run smoothly. I say, give me a chance!! I’ll eliminate debt and make mean people be nice. I shall do this through torture. I know torture is mean but I say the mean justifies the end (heee heeee, do you get my pun??) Now don’t go sending me comments on the incorrectness of my thought; I’m just saying......... don’t knock it till you try it.
Anyway, my girl Erica is learning to drive and I have decided that Greg is not allowed to give Erica driving lessons. It did not take long for me to fear for my very existence so I kept correcting Greg’s driving as any good mother would do. Except I am not Greg’s Mom and I expect that this small factoid caused Greg to start driving dumb on purpose. Greg, Greg, Greg.......
I get back from my meetings on Thursday night – time enough to wash my favourite jeans, repack my suitcase and catch my flight to Vancouver Friday evening. Because I was very aware that I may hit Friday night traffic I leave right after work without eating dinner. So I start out the drive a wee bit hungry and by the time I arrived at my Park N Fly I am cross-eyed with hunger. I wait for my little green and white bus to pick me up and take me to the airport. There is this older Jamaican gentleman at the wheel. He cranks up the Jamaican music and then proceeds to drive through the lot and to the airport like a freaking maniac. I am eyeballing the other passengers who are also visibly concerned for their well being and by the time I arrive at the terminal I was sure I may just barf.
But common sense prevails and I breathe deep and decide barfing would be embarrassing plus I hadn’t really eaten anything so it would have been a wasted effort that would have resulted in me just gagging. I head straight to my gate and of course I get swabbed for drugs yet again. I ask myself, do I look like a druggie? They tell me it is random but I always get pulled aside. Perhaps, I look shifty. Perhaps, they think a middle aged Mom is a good cover for a terrorist who might blow up a plane?
I enjoy my flight, I watched 3 hours of Law and Order which made me think that mankind is generally not nice. Then I tell myself “Self ....... it is not real, get a grip”. So I get a grip and watch SpongeBob. Now that is real. I arrive in Vancouver cross-eyed with tiredness. It is pouring rain and its 3:00am Ontario time and I have to make my way to the motel where I almost drown trying to get from my car to the motel. I wish that my family is with me because they are the best travelling buddies ever.
Before my head even hits the pillow I am asleep and I remember to whisper a small “Thank you Lord for a safe trip ......zzzzzzzz”
The next day was my beautiful cousin Carries wedding. They had a dance. I think dances are fun. I wished I had danced more when I was younger. I still have lots of time to dance. Hey Mark, are sure you don’t want me to chaperone your Grade 8 Grad dance? Live, love, dance my friends...........
Anyway, my girl Erica is learning to drive and I have decided that Greg is not allowed to give Erica driving lessons. It did not take long for me to fear for my very existence so I kept correcting Greg’s driving as any good mother would do. Except I am not Greg’s Mom and I expect that this small factoid caused Greg to start driving dumb on purpose. Greg, Greg, Greg.......
I get back from my meetings on Thursday night – time enough to wash my favourite jeans, repack my suitcase and catch my flight to Vancouver Friday evening. Because I was very aware that I may hit Friday night traffic I leave right after work without eating dinner. So I start out the drive a wee bit hungry and by the time I arrived at my Park N Fly I am cross-eyed with hunger. I wait for my little green and white bus to pick me up and take me to the airport. There is this older Jamaican gentleman at the wheel. He cranks up the Jamaican music and then proceeds to drive through the lot and to the airport like a freaking maniac. I am eyeballing the other passengers who are also visibly concerned for their well being and by the time I arrive at the terminal I was sure I may just barf.
But common sense prevails and I breathe deep and decide barfing would be embarrassing plus I hadn’t really eaten anything so it would have been a wasted effort that would have resulted in me just gagging. I head straight to my gate and of course I get swabbed for drugs yet again. I ask myself, do I look like a druggie? They tell me it is random but I always get pulled aside. Perhaps, I look shifty. Perhaps, they think a middle aged Mom is a good cover for a terrorist who might blow up a plane?
I enjoy my flight, I watched 3 hours of Law and Order which made me think that mankind is generally not nice. Then I tell myself “Self ....... it is not real, get a grip”. So I get a grip and watch SpongeBob. Now that is real. I arrive in Vancouver cross-eyed with tiredness. It is pouring rain and its 3:00am Ontario time and I have to make my way to the motel where I almost drown trying to get from my car to the motel. I wish that my family is with me because they are the best travelling buddies ever.
Before my head even hits the pillow I am asleep and I remember to whisper a small “Thank you Lord for a safe trip ......zzzzzzzz”
The next day was my beautiful cousin Carries wedding. They had a dance. I think dances are fun. I wished I had danced more when I was younger. I still have lots of time to dance. Hey Mark, are sure you don’t want me to chaperone your Grade 8 Grad dance? Live, love, dance my friends...........
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
The Power of Forgiveness & Love
So yesterday my Erica comes home from shopping with a friend and she shows me a shirt she bought for a school dance she is going to next week. I take one look at it and before I can filter my thoughts I blurt out “That is one ugggggly shirt. It is uglier than the shirt Rupert from Survivor wears!” Ian and Mark look at me in stunned silence; their faces say to me that I just said the most stupidest thing ever. Deep down I know they agreed with me but they were not so foolish as to verbalize their thoughts. What was I thinking? It is not like I had to wear the said item of clothing. I can’t even blame it on PMS As if on cue, she gets slightly offended and says so and then goes to her room in a rather dramatic manner. I am thinking that it probably was not one of my best motherhood moments. There goes the mother of the year award. I was in the midst of making a Turkey Dinner and figured I’d set things right as soon as possible. I knew right away I was wrong. Angel on my left shoulder: Parents, don’t exasperate your children. Devil on my right shoulder: It is OK Lise, you were just telling the truth, she should toughen up. Right after we eat, yep, that is when I’ll make it right..........
That is when my sweet girl taught me a lesson about forgiveness again. As we sat down to eat she turns to me and apologizes for getting mad. She did not justify her actions, just said sorry even though I think she had every right to be quite ticked with me. If someone said that to me I wouldn’t have been so gracious. I would have given them a tongue lashing. Oh sigh, how rude I was and how lovely she was. At that moment my heart melted as I saw in her a genuineness to not hold accounts. How is it that my children are teaching me to be a better person?
If this was a first time occurrence I would have just chalked it up to the fact that she had taken a happy pill or she wanted something from me BUT two other times in the past month she has showed me the power of forgiveness. Once when I was parenting her and she disagreed with me; I gave her the classic line of “You’ll do as I say because I am your mother and I will not discuss this and that’s it, now buzz off”. Then I got super agitated as she tried to engage me in conversation about it further. Did the gal not hear me the first time? Then, shortly after, she apologizes to me. No justification, no trying to prove her point. Just “Mom, I am sorry I spoke so disrespectfully to you. I was disappointed but shouldn’t have reacted that way” Oh. That took the wind out of my sails. The issue we were disagreeing about seemed not so important anymore.
Erica also had a situation at school where she found out something that was painful for her to accept and she reacted in a way that was totally inappropriate. I talked to her and understood why she reacted the way she did. I am sure most would have done the same. But she was so embarrassed because she knew that she said things she never should have said, she said them because she felt angry, hurt and betrayed. I left her alone with her thoughts and music and I knew the Lord was working in her. Then all on her own she set out to make things right. She told me she knew what she had to do and she was pretty intent on getting things made right. She apologized and forgave and chose to be a bigger person than I could ever hope to be. I cried because I realized she is choosing life and love instead of resentment and bitterness. I was ashamed because even at the age of 44 I don’t have that same ability. Dear World: please don’t take away my daughters ability to see the best in everyone always. Dear God: please keep her heart soft and loving.
How do we enter into living a life of forgiveness? How do we forgive our parents, co-workers, friends when they wrong us? When we are treated unjustly, our society tells us that we have so many rights. Nobody has the right to say that or think that about us. We so want to set things right or exact revenge. It is dying to our “rights” that gives us freedom in our lives. I think the Christian Faith is all about love and forgiveness. It is not about rules, rituals and whether we are a Baptist or a Catholic. If we have not love we have nothing. Love overcomes evil.
I read this story of a family that forgave their mother’s murderer. Now who could do that? I mean really. Why should we forgive the rapist, child molester....... They don’t deserve our forgiveness. Maybe not. But we need to forgive so that we can live amazing, full lives. The murdered woman’s daughter said “If we give that feeling of hate or anger power over us, we are a slave to it and it can and will destroy us. Evil happens to good people, just like it happens to bad people. Holding unforgiveness only hurts us.”
For over 35 years I held unforgiveness in my heart for many reasons – all of them quite justifiable but it wasn’t until I let go of the pain of it all that I could live a free life in Jesus. I had to be honest. I wish with all my heart that I had learned that lesson in my teens. But some of us have to learn the hard way.
So thank you my sweet Erica for teaching me everyday how to be a better person. You are an amazing, extraordinary young lady who can expect amazing, extraordinary things. I must give credit to Reepicheep, the mouse in Narnia, for his quote on the extraordinary. He was a mouse who chose well.
So forgive before you are offended my friends and you will live a life of peace and happiness. Doesn't mean bad things won't happen cause they will. You will be disappointed, betrayed, you will have your heart broken, you will be angry but in the end you will surrender your will to the Father's and rest in the knowledge that He is in control.
That is when my sweet girl taught me a lesson about forgiveness again. As we sat down to eat she turns to me and apologizes for getting mad. She did not justify her actions, just said sorry even though I think she had every right to be quite ticked with me. If someone said that to me I wouldn’t have been so gracious. I would have given them a tongue lashing. Oh sigh, how rude I was and how lovely she was. At that moment my heart melted as I saw in her a genuineness to not hold accounts. How is it that my children are teaching me to be a better person?
If this was a first time occurrence I would have just chalked it up to the fact that she had taken a happy pill or she wanted something from me BUT two other times in the past month she has showed me the power of forgiveness. Once when I was parenting her and she disagreed with me; I gave her the classic line of “You’ll do as I say because I am your mother and I will not discuss this and that’s it, now buzz off”. Then I got super agitated as she tried to engage me in conversation about it further. Did the gal not hear me the first time? Then, shortly after, she apologizes to me. No justification, no trying to prove her point. Just “Mom, I am sorry I spoke so disrespectfully to you. I was disappointed but shouldn’t have reacted that way” Oh. That took the wind out of my sails. The issue we were disagreeing about seemed not so important anymore.
Erica also had a situation at school where she found out something that was painful for her to accept and she reacted in a way that was totally inappropriate. I talked to her and understood why she reacted the way she did. I am sure most would have done the same. But she was so embarrassed because she knew that she said things she never should have said, she said them because she felt angry, hurt and betrayed. I left her alone with her thoughts and music and I knew the Lord was working in her. Then all on her own she set out to make things right. She told me she knew what she had to do and she was pretty intent on getting things made right. She apologized and forgave and chose to be a bigger person than I could ever hope to be. I cried because I realized she is choosing life and love instead of resentment and bitterness. I was ashamed because even at the age of 44 I don’t have that same ability. Dear World: please don’t take away my daughters ability to see the best in everyone always. Dear God: please keep her heart soft and loving.
How do we enter into living a life of forgiveness? How do we forgive our parents, co-workers, friends when they wrong us? When we are treated unjustly, our society tells us that we have so many rights. Nobody has the right to say that or think that about us. We so want to set things right or exact revenge. It is dying to our “rights” that gives us freedom in our lives. I think the Christian Faith is all about love and forgiveness. It is not about rules, rituals and whether we are a Baptist or a Catholic. If we have not love we have nothing. Love overcomes evil.
I read this story of a family that forgave their mother’s murderer. Now who could do that? I mean really. Why should we forgive the rapist, child molester....... They don’t deserve our forgiveness. Maybe not. But we need to forgive so that we can live amazing, full lives. The murdered woman’s daughter said “If we give that feeling of hate or anger power over us, we are a slave to it and it can and will destroy us. Evil happens to good people, just like it happens to bad people. Holding unforgiveness only hurts us.”
For over 35 years I held unforgiveness in my heart for many reasons – all of them quite justifiable but it wasn’t until I let go of the pain of it all that I could live a free life in Jesus. I had to be honest. I wish with all my heart that I had learned that lesson in my teens. But some of us have to learn the hard way.
So thank you my sweet Erica for teaching me everyday how to be a better person. You are an amazing, extraordinary young lady who can expect amazing, extraordinary things. I must give credit to Reepicheep, the mouse in Narnia, for his quote on the extraordinary. He was a mouse who chose well.
So forgive before you are offended my friends and you will live a life of peace and happiness. Doesn't mean bad things won't happen cause they will. You will be disappointed, betrayed, you will have your heart broken, you will be angry but in the end you will surrender your will to the Father's and rest in the knowledge that He is in control.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Today's Rant
Twice I started writing this blog post this afternoon when I somehow hit the wrong button, heard a very nasty beep and then all my words went flying into cyberspace and thus it made me extremely cross and irritated so now I have decided that perhaps I should type this in Word first so I can copy, paste and save. Inspiration rarely hits twice never mind three times. I will not let technology beat me!!
I was attempting to write while Ian was gone playing floor hockey – in blissful silence but because of my technical difficulties this did not occur. Now he is home making a huge racket. He is talking; emptying the dishwasher in a most annoying fashion ...... does he not get the hint when I answer the onslaught of his questions with one word answers that I need creative silence to prevail?
This afternoon I am having a cuppa tea while reading Rob Bell’s new book about Heaven and Hell. I can see why some in our Evangelical world are getting their knickers in a knot. He is presenting some very interesting points that I think merit some discussion. I am happy to report that my knickers are not knotted yet and once I finish the book I will be able to give you my opinion. You may not want my opinion but it is my blog so there. I think we may all be in for a shock when we get to heaven. We have absolutely no idea what business God does with people right before they die. We are not God so we can’t possibly know. We are not the judge. I wish I knew this truth years ago – it would have saved me a lot of heartache.
When my kids were little, things were so easy to fix. A hug, kiss, cuddle, story, band-aid or jelly bean fixed most issues. But matters of the heart are a completely different can of worms. And I was not ready or prepared for this. Nobody ever told me that I would feel my daughter’s pain of a breaking heart as if it were my own. Wow!! Hey, I can’t fix this one. And I sigh. I sigh with the knowledge that it is time to let go and let my little girl grow up. This is all part of life – learning how to get over something, learning how to navigate relationships, learning to be disappointed. Mom can’t fix everything. I can’t make someone like her. I can’t make them see how amazing she is. I’m her Mom so of course I think she is amazing. Wisdom says step back and let her make her own tracks and solve her own issues. It’s time.
But I can pray. That I can do. I pray that she will survive the broken hearts of teenagedom and that these experiences will make her into a fine wife & mother someday. I pray that her "husband to be" navigates these years well and that someday when they are ready, they will meet and her heart will have the romance and wonder she desires. And my heart will soar with her happiness and that will be wonderful.
Those of you who are not in this stage of life yet may learn from my experience of things not to say when your teenage daughter has had her heart crushed:
#1 There are lots of other fish in the sea.
#2 You are only 16, you know high school romances rarely last.
#3 You may have to kiss a few toads before you get the prince.
#4 Why do you still like someone when they made it clear they don’t like you? How stupid is that?
#5 Hey, I have a few nice boys whose Moms I know, perhaps one of them could be the object of your affections?
#6 Time heals all.
#7 This experience will build character.
#8 Go listen to Fifteen by Taylor Swift.
#9 Yes, you have to go to school.
And last not but not least
#10 Suck it up buttercup!!
I of course said many more idiotic things that also got the death glare and eyeball roll. But today she smiled and with a grin says “You know a few nice boys???” Ah, she will survive and so will I. Ah matters of the heart, all part of growing up. In the wise words of my daughter "to never risk your heart means you never get to experience the joy" And she is right, risking your heart is always the right choice!
I was attempting to write while Ian was gone playing floor hockey – in blissful silence but because of my technical difficulties this did not occur. Now he is home making a huge racket. He is talking; emptying the dishwasher in a most annoying fashion ...... does he not get the hint when I answer the onslaught of his questions with one word answers that I need creative silence to prevail?
This afternoon I am having a cuppa tea while reading Rob Bell’s new book about Heaven and Hell. I can see why some in our Evangelical world are getting their knickers in a knot. He is presenting some very interesting points that I think merit some discussion. I am happy to report that my knickers are not knotted yet and once I finish the book I will be able to give you my opinion. You may not want my opinion but it is my blog so there. I think we may all be in for a shock when we get to heaven. We have absolutely no idea what business God does with people right before they die. We are not God so we can’t possibly know. We are not the judge. I wish I knew this truth years ago – it would have saved me a lot of heartache.
When my kids were little, things were so easy to fix. A hug, kiss, cuddle, story, band-aid or jelly bean fixed most issues. But matters of the heart are a completely different can of worms. And I was not ready or prepared for this. Nobody ever told me that I would feel my daughter’s pain of a breaking heart as if it were my own. Wow!! Hey, I can’t fix this one. And I sigh. I sigh with the knowledge that it is time to let go and let my little girl grow up. This is all part of life – learning how to get over something, learning how to navigate relationships, learning to be disappointed. Mom can’t fix everything. I can’t make someone like her. I can’t make them see how amazing she is. I’m her Mom so of course I think she is amazing. Wisdom says step back and let her make her own tracks and solve her own issues. It’s time.
But I can pray. That I can do. I pray that she will survive the broken hearts of teenagedom and that these experiences will make her into a fine wife & mother someday. I pray that her "husband to be" navigates these years well and that someday when they are ready, they will meet and her heart will have the romance and wonder she desires. And my heart will soar with her happiness and that will be wonderful.
Those of you who are not in this stage of life yet may learn from my experience of things not to say when your teenage daughter has had her heart crushed:
#1 There are lots of other fish in the sea.
#2 You are only 16, you know high school romances rarely last.
#3 You may have to kiss a few toads before you get the prince.
#4 Why do you still like someone when they made it clear they don’t like you? How stupid is that?
#5 Hey, I have a few nice boys whose Moms I know, perhaps one of them could be the object of your affections?
#6 Time heals all.
#7 This experience will build character.
#8 Go listen to Fifteen by Taylor Swift.
#9 Yes, you have to go to school.
And last not but not least
#10 Suck it up buttercup!!
I of course said many more idiotic things that also got the death glare and eyeball roll. But today she smiled and with a grin says “You know a few nice boys???” Ah, she will survive and so will I. Ah matters of the heart, all part of growing up. In the wise words of my daughter "to never risk your heart means you never get to experience the joy" And she is right, risking your heart is always the right choice!
My Old New Post
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Sunless Tanners and Mascara and Bathing Suits
I never skip Church unless I am on holiday or sick. This may appear to be very holy of me but not really - I am the pastor to children & families so its my job. Back home everything is proceeding smoothly without me. At least I hope it is. It made me start thinking how indeed life goes on in spite of disruptions, sadness, circumstances. The world does not stop for anything or anybody and our job as humans is to keep on ticking right through all the crap the world deals out to us. There is always a tomorrow. I like that because it means we get second chances.
This morning I am attending Bedside Baptist. I am visiting with my Dad and stepmom Heather for a few days before I am embark on my epic trip to Hawaii with 6 friends from my Prince George days. All I really did was purchase my plane ticket and left everything else up to my PG peeps. In other words, I have no idea what I am going to be doing on this week long holiday. I have to just trust and go along for the ride.
I did overpack my suitcase. 3 lbs over to be exact. I gave them my sad face and charming smile and Westjet waved me through. I think Ian would have taken half my stuff out but a girl has to be prepared you know. He kept saying why do you need 5 pairs of shoes? And why do you need 5 books? When you go on holiday you are supposed to be doing stuff not reading books!! I patiently tried to explain it to him but he kept rolling his eyeballs at me. You see I have my running shoes for hiking, my flip flops for the pool/beach, my dressier flip flops for going out somewhere nice (apparently I am on a budget so I asked Ian what that was and he said my budget was to spend nothing - such a silly goose he is), my Jesus sandals - what pastor would leave home without those? And a pair of my favourite sneakers. I am glad I didn't tell him about the water shoes.
I am fair skinned and freckly and I am at that age where I have to look after my skin so I decided I might use a sunless tanning lotion to give me a tropical glow so I googled what the best kind was to use, went to the drugstore and purchased the insanely expensive goop and then when I arrived at my Dad's I tried it out! It looked very dark so I decided just to put it on my lower legs for a test. Lets just say I am grumpy. My legs do not look a golden bronze color at all, they are rather orange like and the one spot where I obviously didn't rub it in looks like a giant birth mark. Oh lets get real, it looks like someone didn't rub their sunless tanning lotion in properly. It has faded considerably so by tomorrow it will be gone right?
I also bought waterproof mascara because I didn't want the regular stuff to run dowm my face making me look like a raccoon. I have tried it on but for the life of me can't figure how to get it off. Maybe it just wears off over time. I know what Ian would say! Why do you even need to wear that stuff anyways? Anyway, I said to him what are we going to do if some guys try to pick us up because we are without our menfolk. Without missing a beat he quips back "Good luck with that!" Whatttttt? Lise, they are looking for younger ladies not a bunch of Grandma types. I had to laugh because he is so right, at least he is about me .......
You see Erica, my every so tiny 16 year old was with me as I tried to find a new bathing suit. We went to this rack and I pulled one off that I thought was suitable. I asked her what she thought and she said it would be nice if I was going to a swim meet. She says I should try a tankini. I am concerned my muffin top will show but I'll humour her. Erica assures me that will not be the case. I take 3 tops into the changing room and hysterical hyenia laughter starts erupting from within my being. Erica is telling to me to shhhhh or maybe she was asking me whats wrong or maybe she was just sitting there texting while ignoring me.
I am not a particularly large human being and everything the Good Lord endowed me with was hanging out and over. I show Erica, she smirks, at least I think its a smirk I see. Little skinny twirp. I used to look like you once upon a time, just a taller version because she is only 5' 3" to my 5' 8". I proclaim that these tankinis are improper for me to wear. You might as well go naked for all that thing covered. Maybe I'll find a bathing suit in Hawaii ........ a nice proper suit. I'll let Erica wear the bikini - tankini suits :)
Sunless Tanners and Mascara and Bathing Suits
I never skip Church unless I am on holiday or sick. This may appear to be very holy of me but not really - I am the pastor to children & families so its my job. Back home everything is proceeding smoothly without me. At least I hope it is. It made me start thinking how indeed life goes on in spite of disruptions, sadness, circumstances. The world does not stop for anything or anybody and our job as humans is to keep on ticking right through all the crap the world deals out to us. There is always a tomorrow. I like that because it means we get second chances.
This morning I am attending Bedside Baptist. I am visiting with my Dad and stepmom Heather for a few days before I am embark on my epic trip to Hawaii with 6 friends from my Prince George days. All I really did was purchase my plane ticket and left everything else up to my PG peeps. In other words, I have no idea what I am going to be doing on this week long holiday. I have to just trust and go along for the ride.
I did overpack my suitcase. 3 lbs over to be exact. I gave them my sad face and charming smile and Westjet waved me through. I think Ian would have taken half my stuff out but a girl has to be prepared you know. He kept saying why do you need 5 pairs of shoes? And why do you need 5 books? When you go on holiday you are supposed to be doing stuff not reading books!! I patiently tried to explain it to him but he kept rolling his eyeballs at me. You see I have my running shoes for hiking, my flip flops for the pool/beach, my dressier flip flops for going out somewhere nice (apparently I am on a budget so I asked Ian what that was and he said my budget was to spend nothing - such a silly goose he is), my Jesus sandals - what pastor would leave home without those? And a pair of my favourite sneakers. I am glad I didn't tell him about the water shoes.
I am fair skinned and freckly and I am at that age where I have to look after my skin so I decided I might use a sunless tanning lotion to give me a tropical glow so I googled what the best kind was to use, went to the drugstore and purchased the insanely expensive goop and then when I arrived at my Dad's I tried it out! It looked very dark so I decided just to put it on my lower legs for a test. Lets just say I am grumpy. My legs do not look a golden bronze color at all, they are rather orange like and the one spot where I obviously didn't rub it in looks like a giant birth mark. Oh lets get real, it looks like someone didn't rub their sunless tanning lotion in properly. It has faded considerably so by tomorrow it will be gone right?
I also bought waterproof mascara because I didn't want the regular stuff to run dowm my face making me look like a raccoon. I have tried it on but for the life of me can't figure how to get it off. Maybe it just wears off over time. I know what Ian would say! Why do you even need to wear that stuff anyways? Anyway, I said to him what are we going to do if some guys try to pick us up because we are without our menfolk. Without missing a beat he quips back "Good luck with that!" Whatttttt? Lise, they are looking for younger ladies not a bunch of Grandma types. I had to laugh because he is so right, at least he is about me .......
You see Erica, my every so tiny 16 year old was with me as I tried to find a new bathing suit. We went to this rack and I pulled one off that I thought was suitable. I asked her what she thought and she said it would be nice if I was going to a swim meet. She says I should try a tankini. I am concerned my muffin top will show but I'll humour her. Erica assures me that will not be the case. I take 3 tops into the changing room and hysterical hyenia laughter starts erupting from within my being. Erica is telling to me to shhhhh or maybe she was asking me whats wrong or maybe she was just sitting there texting while ignoring me.
I am not a particularly large human being and everything the Good Lord endowed me with was hanging out and over. I show Erica, she smirks, at least I think its a smirk I see. Little skinny twirp. I used to look like you once upon a time, just a taller version because she is only 5' 3" to my 5' 8". I proclaim that these tankinis are improper for me to wear. You might as well go naked for all that thing covered. Maybe I'll find a bathing suit in Hawaii ........ a nice proper suit. I'll let Erica wear the bikini - tankini suits :)
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